Brad Pitt Demands Polyandrous Marriages! and More!

"Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."

This bold statement of principle should be applauded. Unwilling to kow-tow to the bigotry of the dualist marriage commissars, Pitt demands that marriage be opened up to threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. But Pitt is consistent- if thirteen year-olds want to get married, let them! If a brother and sister want to become something more- we should respect that right. Tear down this wall! Let my people go! Strike off these chains!